The Crazed Escapes of Widow and D Va
by stickygoo
Summary: Being a sniper has its perks. Widow learns this one day when she catches and unsuspecting D. Va naked, and decides to get a closer look to admire her... where daring, sexy fun ensues...


**DISCLAIMER: Do not read if you are easily offended, or don't have a good sense of what is sexy and what isn't. This story has sexy parts.**

 **Widowmaker was staring intently down her sights on a still target. D. Va, known also as Hana, was sitting down, taking selfies completely naked. Even from this distance, from all the way across the map, it would be an easy kill. But Hana was in luck today - Widowmaker's cold blood had run hot with lust. Widowmaker admired Hana's curves through her scope, feeling the juices of her southern roast beef begin to ripen.**

 **She took her hand off the trigger, and placed it on her tampon tamer. She began rubbing her clitoris, slowly at first, and then with the vigor of a thousand minority protesters outside Trump Towers. She began to work in 2, 3, and then 4 fingers into her lovin' oven. She moaned loudly.**

 **Too loudly. At that moment, Hana fixed her gaze to the temple Widowmaker was perched atop. Sighing, and slipping her fingers out of her moist rabbit hole, she launched her grappling hook and shot herself like Kurt Cobain straight to Hana's feet.**

 **Embarrassed and blushing, Hana attempted to cover up her perky booby titty nipples.**

 **"I've watching you for hours" said Widowmaker with a smirk, "I have your perky booby titty nipples committed to memory. Besides, do you really think clothes are the one thing my infrasight can't see through?" Hana gave up, and exposed her perky booby titty nipples once more. Widowmaker was the mayor of titty city, and visibly drooling for a taste.**

 **"Hmph. No fair," said Hana, "I stand here naked and you're as covered up with clothes as a mormon whore on her wedding night."**

 **Sensing that something was needed to make Hana feel more comfortable, Widowmaker began slipping out of her clothes. Hana could not believe her body. She had the jugs of**

 **Chris Farley, the curves of Betty White, and an ass like Amy Schumer to boot. Needless to say, she looked great in her birthday suit.**

 **"Wow!" exclaimed Hana, "I'd fuck my dad for a piece of that."**

 **"I have fucked your father before, and he has a small penis." replied Widowmaker. "It's so small, that I fucked him in his little anus."**

 **She gave Hana a 180 degree turn and bent over, showing off her crusty beef curtains. Hana vomitted in delight. She took a step closer to Widowmaker, lay down on her back, and spread her legs, giving her a front row seat to her stinky pink. Widowmaker removed her infra-goggles, ready to go to town on Hana's lesbian lunch box. Her tongue twisted and writhed softly around Hana's great velvet ravine like a newborn baby being burnt alive at the stake. She squirmed in ecstasy, audibly letting breaths escape her. Widowmaker took this as encouragement, and proceeded to slip a few fingers into her notorious V.A.G. while she continued whirling her tongue.**

 **"I'm gunna cum!" shouted Hana, unable to hold back. "Nerf this!"**

 **Squirt erupted from Hana's lasagna lips, coating Widowmaker's entire face in sticky goo. Before she could wipe it off, Hana said, "your turn." and pushed her up against a wall, taking a knee to be eye level with Widowmaker's queef quarry.**

 **Suddenly, Hana summon her Mechasuit.**

 **"Wh- What?" Said Widowmaker.**

 **"Quiet. This is only going to hurt as much as getting hit in the ankle by a scooter." said Hana.**

 **"That fucking hurts!" replied Widow.**

 **Without warning, Hana thrusted upwards with her boosters, pounding against Widowmaker's vertical ham sandwich. Slowly but surely, she was slipping up inside Widow.**

 **"Shit! It feels like an ISIS cunt is self-detonating for a false cause inside of my pink twinkie!" yelled Widowmaker.**

 **Hana was really letting loose inside of Widow's Bermuda triangle, pulling off sick critical shots left and right. Little did Widow know, Hana was now streaming live on Twitch, and 13,000 horny gamers were wanking their pathetic little peckers live to Hana's mecha-cam. Widow groaned as the pressure building inside her rubyfruit jungle. In just a few seconds, she was sure to burst with an orgasm as great as the first time she saw Shrek. Shrek 2 and 3 weren't quite as good, but still good.**

 **Hana was such a pro at destroying hoochie hot pockets that she had already built up another ultimate.**

 **"NERF THIS!" said Hana, slipping out of her mechasuit and right out of Widow's fish taco. Widow's eyes grew wide as she realized what was about to happen. She scrambled for her sniper that she had discarded as Hana tried to run. She lifted the scope to her eyes...**

 **But it was too late. BOOM!**

 **Widow's bearded chimichanga exploded outwards, turning completely mutilated. It protruded outwards now, taking the form of a fat black cock. Smirking once more, Widow began her hunt. She grappled to where she saw Hana running, and sure enough, there she found her. Out of her suit and nude once more, Hana looked surprised to see Widow still alive, and even more surprised at the massive magnum dong she now possessed. Her jaw dropped, and this was her last mistake.**

 **Widow crammed her sweaty and uncircumsized mayo shooting hotdog gun into Hana's open mouth, occupying it like wall street. While she skullfucked Hana, she made a mental note that her new tan banana looked exactly like Lady Gaga's. It was that large and veiny.**

 **Widowmaker exploded into Hana's throat like Hiroshima. She held her face against her prickly crotch while Hana pushed and pleaded for air. Widowmaker took pleasure in denying it.**

 **The life slipped out of Hana's eyes, officially a casualty of hermaphrodite yogurt, and Widowmaker stuffed her new black jackhammer back into her body, fashioning it back into her old flappy wizard's sleeve.**

 **She returned to her perch, stuffing her entire slutty fist inside.**

 **The End.**

 **If you read this, I'm sorry.**


End file.
